im sick of all this.
really.
i dont know.
maybe its my fault but i am feeling lost.
truly.
i have been tryin to please everyone.
i guessed i did my best.
its true.
u cant oblige everyone.
i guessed i shld have known that long ago.
people tell me
"heyy its your life you can control it!"
bt it is really true?
nahh.its not true okay.
at least not always.
some times it takes lots of effort.
not only your own but others.
mad deadlines that people have to meet..
stupid commitments that one has to make..
dumb promises that one have to keep..
hey it aint easy alright??
at least not for me.
its tiring to have to put on a smiley face at times alright?
i mean people in this world, in this society.
they have lots to say about others..
whatever you do there will be a comment given..
or should i say critism??
almost whatever alright.
for instance;a simple smile.

too much smiles and you are deemed a fake.
too little smiles, people blamed you for low EQ.

so hey what now?
not too hot not too cold?
lukewarm??and hey people will say you ain putting enough effort yeah??
cmon we are not talkin about making a cuppa coffee now okay??
its about ones attitude.

this isn't joke.
serious.
i m really tired.

i would not say that my attitude rocks
or its an attitude that one should follow whatsoever alright?
i would not say that i am perfect either alright?
i am not. Only God is.
i am not trying that everyone has to give in to me or what okay?
but just..owells i don't know how to put it.
but just cut the slackeness alright??
i m not tryin to quote anyone and neither am i saying i am not a slack person.
but just don't be overboard.
theres a limit to ones patience too.
i know i am not someone with a great deal of patience.
but hey true frens people that had been around me.
Am i really one that seriously loses patience in front of you??
I mean have you really seen me in a fit of anger before?
Maybe i am really angry at that instant
but i seldom show it out into your face.
hey i didnt want to embarrass myself nor you
or be a wet blanket okay?
i know it hurts to have your jokes being laughed at.
not directing at the joke but you.
and i noe it wont be a nice feeling.
i mean on the whole, rejection hurts we know.
it doesnt come only in the direct way.
but in the indirect way.
i mean its like people just want to go against your wishes for the sake of doing that.
they show it in front of you and behind you. perhaps they don't mean it.
i don't see them feeling sorry about it at all.
its different frm backstabbing.
in fact what they do wouldnt do any good to them eventually.
but it seems like they just do not care about the outcome as much as u do.
perhaps its more about responsiblility in this sense.
to them its nothing more than a..
shitpaper.
that one has to deal with.
heyy i think its shitpaper too okay??
bt all we have to do is to clean our butts and flush it down the throne.
its better than continue sitting on the throne staring into space hoping that the shitpaper will end up in it somehow?!
okay. i know its a stupid analogy.
but i hoped it did make sense alright?

after all this senseless crapping, i felt better.
bt i do know these problems still exist alrights.
owells,i guessed its God's will.
and i believed He will make me a stronger person after all these obstacles..(=
and thank Him for sending me an angel during this time to protect me from all harm..(=
Thanks Daddy.
i have to thank this angel for being my side all these while..
though i know i had been venting anger on you
thanks for being there when i need you the most..
i understand you care for me alrights..
but like you.i just didnt know how to reciprocate
and show you that i know you always care..
i love you
Amen

Labels: responsibilty??

shhh.guys here's a secret..
I M BACK FROM CHINA!!
arent u guys HAPPY?EXCITED?
everyone: gahhs..BIG DEAL.EVERYONES BLOG ABOUT IT.
Cheryl?? still on her "jingle bells jingle bells.."
Me: yeahyeah.i noe i m lagging.serious. but owell i m up n about again so gees,did u notice??
BYEBYE X'MAS!! Wave everyone!! Say "bye" to xmas!!
everyone: BYEBYE X'MAS!!
Me: now. 2006. BYEBYE 2006!! GUYS!! autoauto!EFFICIENCY!
everyone: yeah. BYE 2006..(draining..)>.<

lol.okays.CRAPPING.inoe.

everyone: glad u..

AND NOW!! HAVENT I REPEATED MYSELF ENOUGH!
NO INTERUPPTING WHEN I M CRAPPING!!?

okay.i am fine now.=D
whee.okay was crappish just now.
anyway.holiday totally sucked.
projects after projects all left undone..)=
designers have PROJECT RUNWAY..
me? i see PROJECTS? I RUNAWAY..
anyway i had been wanting to blog since ages..
but work n projects(again?) kept it squeezed in somepart of my head(im NOT big-headed kkaes?)forsaken..
n whee im goin to PLANETSHAKERS CONCERT this friday!!(=
how cool is that yeah??
SUPERRR!!(=
woohoo..guessed some of my ear cells will be dead by the night but WHO CARES??
i wont be complaining yeah..cos i m there to PRAISE THE LORD!!(=
will hv lotsa fun JUMPIN ABOUT cos i happened to be quite short.
(heyy good workout kkaes? maybe i ll lose some weight then!)(=
went shoppin with rachel on tues..
walk ard at marina sq n then bugis..
whee was FUN luhh..
rachel bought a top at topshop n i bought one at zara too..
BOTH NICE NICE yahh??(=
i bought earrings n a tube too..
had shaker fries for lunch..
n what else?
oh yahh..ONE uber embarrassing incident..
I.WALKED.ALL.THE.WAY.INTO.THE.GENTS.
heyy the door was WIDE OPEN cann??
n being the super blur sotong me how would i noe??
right nortts?
haiish.but I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING I ARENT SUPPOSED TO SEE.i think.
went bugis street n yupp.
NEVER EVER buy the sucky longan juice frm the stall near the busstop.
OMG.it totally sucked kkaes.TASTED FUNNY-no HORRIBLE i shld sae.
n true enuf to what rachel sae..BUGIS ST reminds me of the shopping centres in China..
we totally hv the urge to mark down the price that the salesperson offer cann??(=
woot! miss China days..(X: gahh.i thinki ld nv had guessed that i ld sae that in my entire life..)
i spent loads there cann??
brought abt S$350=1750rmb
leftS$40+=200+rmb
LOL.bought quite a few shirts luhh..
n FOOD!!!
woohoo! bt i LOVED Spore toilets.forever.
Even those stinky smelly ones in Chinatown.
So much bettr compared to those in China.
(fortunately its only ChinaTOWN..)
oh CRAP.
whatever.
gees.i realised i had been digressing..
GAHH.