im sick of all this.
really.
i dont know.
maybe its my fault but i am feeling lost.
truly.
i have been tryin to please everyone.
i guessed i did my best.
its true.
u cant oblige everyone.
i guessed i shld have known that long ago.
people tell me
"heyy its your life you can control it!"
bt it is really true?
nahh.its not true okay.
at least not always.
some times it takes lots of effort.
not only your own but others.
mad deadlines that people have to meet..
stupid commitments that one has to make..
dumb promises that one have to keep..
hey it aint easy alright??
at least not for me.
its tiring to have to put on a smiley face at times alright?
i mean people in this world, in this society.
they have lots to say about others..
whatever you do there will be a comment given..
or should i say critism??
almost whatever alright.
for instance;a simple smile.

too much smiles and you are deemed a fake.
too little smiles, people blamed you for low EQ.

so hey what now?
not too hot not too cold?
lukewarm??and hey people will say you ain putting enough effort yeah??
cmon we are not talkin about making a cuppa coffee now okay??
its about ones attitude.

this isn't joke.
serious.
i m really tired.

i would not say that my attitude rocks
or its an attitude that one should follow whatsoever alright?
i would not say that i am perfect either alright?
i am not. Only God is.
i am not trying that everyone has to give in to me or what okay?
but just..owells i don't know how to put it.
but just cut the slackeness alright??
i m not tryin to quote anyone and neither am i saying i am not a slack person.
but just don't be overboard.
theres a limit to ones patience too.
i know i am not someone with a great deal of patience.
but hey true frens people that had been around me.
Am i really one that seriously loses patience in front of you??
I mean have you really seen me in a fit of anger before?
Maybe i am really angry at that instant
but i seldom show it out into your face.
hey i didnt want to embarrass myself nor you
or be a wet blanket okay?
i know it hurts to have your jokes being laughed at.
not directing at the joke but you.
and i noe it wont be a nice feeling.
i mean on the whole, rejection hurts we know.
it doesnt come only in the direct way.
but in the indirect way.
i mean its like people just want to go against your wishes for the sake of doing that.
they show it in front of you and behind you. perhaps they don't mean it.
i don't see them feeling sorry about it at all.
its different frm backstabbing.
in fact what they do wouldnt do any good to them eventually.
but it seems like they just do not care about the outcome as much as u do.
perhaps its more about responsiblility in this sense.
to them its nothing more than a..
shitpaper.
that one has to deal with.
heyy i think its shitpaper too okay??
bt all we have to do is to clean our butts and flush it down the throne.
its better than continue sitting on the throne staring into space hoping that the shitpaper will end up in it somehow?!
okay. i know its a stupid analogy.
but i hoped it did make sense alright?

after all this senseless crapping, i felt better.
bt i do know these problems still exist alrights.
owells,i guessed its God's will.
and i believed He will make me a stronger person after all these obstacles..(=
and thank Him for sending me an angel during this time to protect me from all harm..(=
Thanks Daddy.
i have to thank this angel for being my side all these while..
though i know i had been venting anger on you
thanks for being there when i need you the most..
i understand you care for me alrights..
but like you.i just didnt know how to reciprocate
and show you that i know you always care..
i love you
Amen

Labels: responsibilty??

shhh.guys here's a secret..
I M BACK FROM CHINA!!
arent u guys HAPPY?EXCITED?
everyone: gahhs..BIG DEAL.EVERYONES BLOG ABOUT IT.
Cheryl?? still on her "jingle bells jingle bells.."
Me: yeahyeah.i noe i m lagging.serious. but owell i m up n about again so gees,did u notice??
BYEBYE X'MAS!! Wave everyone!! Say "bye" to xmas!!
everyone: BYEBYE X'MAS!!
Me: now. 2006. BYEBYE 2006!! GUYS!! autoauto!EFFICIENCY!
everyone: yeah. BYE 2006..(draining..)>.<

lol.okays.CRAPPING.inoe.

everyone: glad u..

AND NOW!! HAVENT I REPEATED MYSELF ENOUGH!
NO INTERUPPTING WHEN I M CRAPPING!!?

okay.i am fine now.=D
whee.okay was crappish just now.
anyway.holiday totally sucked.
projects after projects all left undone..)=
designers have PROJECT RUNWAY..
me? i see PROJECTS? I RUNAWAY..
anyway i had been wanting to blog since ages..
but work n projects(again?) kept it squeezed in somepart of my head(im NOT big-headed kkaes?)forsaken..
n whee im goin to PLANETSHAKERS CONCERT this friday!!(=
how cool is that yeah??
SUPERRR!!(=
woohoo..guessed some of my ear cells will be dead by the night but WHO CARES??
i wont be complaining yeah..cos i m there to PRAISE THE LORD!!(=
will hv lotsa fun JUMPIN ABOUT cos i happened to be quite short.
(heyy good workout kkaes? maybe i ll lose some weight then!)(=
went shoppin with rachel on tues..
walk ard at marina sq n then bugis..
whee was FUN luhh..
rachel bought a top at topshop n i bought one at zara too..
BOTH NICE NICE yahh??(=
i bought earrings n a tube too..
had shaker fries for lunch..
n what else?
oh yahh..ONE uber embarrassing incident..
I.WALKED.ALL.THE.WAY.INTO.THE.GENTS.
heyy the door was WIDE OPEN cann??
n being the super blur sotong me how would i noe??
right nortts?
haiish.but I DIDNT SEE ANYTHING I ARENT SUPPOSED TO SEE.i think.
went bugis street n yupp.
NEVER EVER buy the sucky longan juice frm the stall near the busstop.
OMG.it totally sucked kkaes.TASTED FUNNY-no HORRIBLE i shld sae.
n true enuf to what rachel sae..BUGIS ST reminds me of the shopping centres in China..
we totally hv the urge to mark down the price that the salesperson offer cann??(=
woot! miss China days..(X: gahh.i thinki ld nv had guessed that i ld sae that in my entire life..)
i spent loads there cann??
brought abt S$350=1750rmb
leftS$40+=200+rmb
LOL.bought quite a few shirts luhh..
n FOOD!!!
woohoo! bt i LOVED Spore toilets.forever.
Even those stinky smelly ones in Chinatown.
So much bettr compared to those in China.
(fortunately its only ChinaTOWN..)
oh CRAP.
whatever.
gees.i realised i had been digressing..
GAHH.

lalala..
had been REALLY BUSY THESE FEW DAYS yahh??
hahas.
owell.quite long ago i couldnt rmb when...
bt oh i went to CONVERSE sale with kapo queen n my parents...
woohoo~
quite FUN..bt nothin much to buy lo..
end up grabbin two tees
n kapo queen bought her bag...(:
N GUESS WAD??
sumwher near the warehouse
is acty a...KAPO FACTORY!!!
hahas.kapo queen sure took a pic of that!?
then my mum n dad wanted to hv SOME TIME OF THEIR OWN...
to do what i DUNNO.hahas.
so i n kapo queen went to tm to PLAN TO SHOP..
we ended up in century sq watchin some weird guys playin some DUMB golf..
hahas.(x
in the end. we settled down near new york pizza n chatted..
owells.it WAS A LOOOONG chat..
abt 2hours ++ (:
so yeahh girls hv alot to talk abt de mahh..lol
n yupp..i went to pierce another earhole..at the softbone...kapo queen went with me lor...
it was done lyk in a MINUTE?!
n kapo queen was sayiin mine expression was lyk:
< style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2306/2046/320/pf.4.jpg" border="0">< href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/2306/2046/1600/pf.jpg">
hahas.POKER FACE.ouch.>.<
n yahh..a few days ago...
went out wif kapo queen,chio buu n dada...
went to vivo city..
we walk walk at harbour front first
then nothhin reali much to see abt lo..
then go vivo city...
saw sumthing darn..owell..lets nt talk abt it..X:
den in the end walk back to harbour frnt
stay in MORE THAN WORDS for a long time b4 dat..
n we ended up walkin in there again...lol
those salesgirls must be wonderin...
A salesgirl: "ooi..those few kids arh..y walk here walk there..nv buy anything huh??"
B salesgirl: "duno leh..u go talk to them lah.."
A salesgirl: "eh...u go lah... y me hurr??"
cos both of them kept cumin up to ask if we wanna buy anything lah..
hmph.
owell.neway me n kapo queen ended up buyin a skirt each...
n ting wei bought a shorts i tink..
n i oso bought a yucky warhead liquid kinda of thing.n it ended up in the bin the next day...
lol.(x

hi guys..
juz woke up bout 2hrs ago...
haiish..still feelin a little drowsy yeahh..
had my lunch..
my phone is havin a screw loose..
lol.the cam seems to be havin some prob...
woohoo~but owells the rest of the features seem great...(:
haiish..
im bored..n sleepy.
sleptover at godma's hse last nite..
beri shack...
watch some shows with my dearie granny Lucy(:...
n was hooked to the com till 3plus...
den fiddle with my phone for a good half n hour...
den wake my aunt up...
(im not crazy larhh...but yeahh..we lurve a good chat every nite yahh??(: )
den yeahh grandpa Charlie was up...
it was bout 4plus le...(he sure wakes up beri early..i doubt i ever could do that in my lifetime)
then i knock off too... perhaps i had slept too much ytd
while watchin tv(or shld it be the it watchin me drool??)
shows these days reali lack entertainment le..hahas(:
off to the google box...
okie i noe i simply love being IRONIC...

it seems lyk im unable to post the video to you guys..owells.
its kkaes..lets view it together on Monday kkaes??(:

lets try it once mre..
i doubt it will work thou..
n ya i got back my eng pp..
woohoo~
addin them up i had 85% for EnglIsh!!(:
i hadnt had such a score for english..for a NONG NONG TIME yeahh??
okie inoe my topic is darn vast 2dae kkaes..
its called digression yeahh..(x

hi.
im seriously bored lah kkaes.
pardon me for that.
owells. this is a short clip by BimBo n KaPo QuEEn..
C:\Documents and Settings\Carol Lim\My Documents\kapO qUeen1.zip
n of cos production by me,ele..heehee(x
recording woman(bird?)PINK bird..hahas
supporting roles-chio buu` n dada
hope u guys had an amusing time..
thou i doubt biMbo will lyk it..
i mean i lurved it to bits..
it had been FUN singing the same few songs
OVER N OVER again these past few days with you guys..(x
hahas..we have a natural flair in entertaining yeahh??
n woohoo~ KaPO QueeN is owell-PhotOgEnic yahh??(x
gees..but yeahh..who noes??
they might be SingaPore Idols(duet) of SEason 10 yahh??
hahas.juz jokin..(x
so yeahh..
once again you hv tune in to KaPo qUeen 38.4 fm..
Enjoy...(n do guess the song name kkaes??)

p.s. listen to it with a light heart n open mind...(x

owells.
e hols are cumin yeahh..
"Man is juz not contented."or shld i sae "Man is ironic by nature"?
cos i hv been feelin out of sorts lately...
maybe cos i hv been muggin hard n killing all my brain cells...
and "STOP"
everything jerked to a stop.
i was thrusted forward too violently n perhaps..
yupp.its even harder to stop..
okie okie.
inoe wad u guys r thinkin kkaes..
everyone: yadayada..cheryl is in her crappin state as usual..lol(x
i had been lazin around for the ENTIRE day..
rottin away..doin totally nothin.
unless u count idling as something..
Boredom somehow lulls me into the comfortable sort of slumber
which gradually turns me into a GREAT BIG potato couch..
until it truly hits me that the FREAKING HOLS are arrivin!!!
n yupp a BIGGER couch potato im lookin forward too..):
nahh. maybe i ld try liftin my ass up and stop moping around..
ooh yeahh..
neway my mum seems to be pleasingly enthu abt
cooking even more lately...
yeahh since i suck totally at homecons...
maybe i could or perhaps i would cross my fingers..
n yeahh hope i could pick up some chef-image frm her yahh??
cookin is FUN..
Isn't it??


Life's problems wouldn't be called "hurdles" if there wasn't a way to get over them.(:

hi guys..
sori my com a little lag lah.
the prev post SUPPOSINGLY to be posted two days ago...
bt owells.
neway..i have got something to announce...
1B TOTALLY ROCKS the STREET SOCCER COURT yeahh!!
u guys r SOO DAMN GREAT!!!!
whee~
FiNallY..theres something i can be PROUD of my CLASS...(:
WE-WON-YESTERDAY'S-MATCH!!!
woohoo~(miie: gees..im sori bt i lurve doin dat...WOOHOO~(:)
AnD i realiSed something..
guys in onebee can SEW can COOK n PLAY SOCCER!!!
(miie: gees..u shld see their homecon marks..)
neways im UBER sian 2dae cann..
haiish.
n yupp..i got my marks.
eNg:35/40(miie: i oni noe my pp2 marks yeahh..)
MaTh:80/100(i din study for this inoe..i studied hiSt...the pp was on the same dae...)
GeOg:72/100(darn shit.i killed all my brain cells for this pp..look wad i got?!)
HiSt:79/100(n look wad i got.i shld have studied for math..>.<)
Sci:83.5/100(owells.im startin to lyk this SUBJECT...(:jimmy is great kkaes???hahas)
HcL:71/100(i so not lyk this SUBJECT..DUN ask me 'bout the tcher.)
"its not an avalanche..lets call it a landslide."
i noe my grades have slipped.DUN remind me.
oh yeahh..my v.art grades r not GOOD either...
so lets forgett 'bout my homecons...i totally suck at that subject.
n yeahh today was SUPER SLaCK cann..
was guitar prac..
8am-1pm.
dun tink dat thats BAD kkaes..
u ll be TERRIFIED at the holiday prac...(:
3times a week.
either 5hrs or 9hrs every prac.
total of 17 prac.
coverin almost the 2 whole months of our holidays.
hows that?(:
am i hearing things or is that CLARISSE whining away??(:
hahas.
neways.im off to accompany the google box.
its gettin bored.so do I.
thus i will entertain it by entertaining myself with it.

haRlo guys.
the STOOPID thing had FINALLY ENDED!!!!
let's cheer guys!!
*jumpin, clappin, cheerin on my bed*
miie: WHATEVER!
lol.
but still,
i feel something kept on buggin me..
maybe i think too much.
i hope thats true yea..(:
haiish..THAT ominous feeling is coming again..
it just kept crepting up..
ARGGH!!
lets forget about it.
its over.
i juz have to keep my butt on the chair
n stop thinking so much.
i kept movin around when im nervous yeah..
juz wish that 2mrw
either cumes faster.
or dun ever. lol.
perhaps i juz couldnt take the
stench of failure..
i hv got back my chinese pp though..
not too bad.not too good.(:

owells.i hv bought a new phone eh.
k800i.(x
my number is changin too.
will keep u guys updated.
bt is nt delivered HERE yet.
so yea lets countinue keepin in contact
with my old no. yeah.(x
adios.

harlo guys.
i REALLY have to start STUDYING.
nobody believes i havnt started to study,but owells,
TRUTH IS
I HVNT.
i need to focus.FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!!!
hopin dat saein this on my blog,
it may juz ACTUALLY WORK.
lol.
right now,im PRAYING fervently that
i DO WISH i hv an ELEPHANTINE memory
to rmb does dumb math formulae, dumb history facts and dumb geog notes..
ARGGH!
im so totally geeked out and exhausted!
there is only three weeks to the EXAMS.
im a nervous wreck.
mainly bcos theres no way i could possibly finish studying!!!
okie. i noe its just sec ones eoy (and its goin to get worse a few yrs down the road) n its no biggie.
but ohmy.i simply cant help stressin myself up.
icant seem be absorbin ANYTHING.
its a VICIOUS cycle.
the more my mind urge me to "HURRY!HURRY!HURRY!"
the more my brain tries to move faster,
n the longer it will take for me to absorb all those frigging facts!
oh no, im really so fucking stressed,
that im goin POSITIVELY INSANE.
okie i admit im no goodie wif StRESS management..
n when it comes smackin into my face
i PRACTICALLY go nuts.
oh my i totally drained.